Crazy Legs Episode 7: Mostly Business…
Okay. So I hesitated doing this…
But this Crazy Legs post is from ME.
I need to mention, I FREAKING LOVE VALENTINE’S DAY. I seriously LOVE love, and yes we should acknowledge and show it to our partners regularly… but, I also think participating in a day doing something (even if it’s corny) that celebrates love is a good thing.
So, I was deep in my feels, y’all.
This Valentine’s Day, I was feeling extra sorry for myself. I was alone in a new city, and had one of those “break ups that wasn’t really a break up because it was never really a relationship” kind of things…
I did something impulsive. I wanted some sort of validation, and after having an AMAZING Gal-entine’s Day with one of my sheroes… I ignored my pride and downloaded a dating app.
I’m still in shock… I have a love/hate/misunderstanding relationship with these things, but as someone who travels a ton and is mostly illiterate in technology I’d say I’ve had minor successes over the years.*
*This of course is once I understood how to use them and kind of what my own personal vetting process consisted of.
So… Come on. It’s Valentine’s Day! All I have is my dog and a phone that connects me to literally everything at any time. And the dog didn’t bring me anything special for V-Day.
To be honest, It was mostly validation I was looking for. I was lonely, and a little mopey (okay, a lot mopey if you’re my friend on literally any social media account you probably noticed that…) but believe me, validation is DEFINITELY what I got when I ventured back to swipe-town.
Then I got a little taste of why I wanted to start this Crazy Legs series in the first place.
Besides loving love and having fun dating, I also want to remind my friends in the disabled community what is actually appropriate or inappropriate. Not only as a matter of pride and dignity, but sometimes it’s a matter of actual safety. There are red flags to a lot of no-nos and as I continue on I hope to get better more clear ways to expose them through a collective experience. (I’m only admitting/sharing so much guys! Come on help me out! *shameless plug for you to share more content with me*)
The secondary goal of this series is to educate the “mainstream” world not only about what it is like through our lens, but also how not to be an idiot when trying to interact with people whose abilities are different than your own. Also, this could also be someone that you might like to get to know better and/or get naked with them.
There isn’t a playbook or a manual… so this is the closest thing I got. *shrugs*
Exhibit A: Ladies and Gentlemen, please meet “Inspired”
This is legit his first message to me. “Fighting Spirit??” does he know I am still kind of afraid to drive a car???!
You guys know at this point for me… it’s on like Donkey Kong!
(I will go back and blank out the city because #anonymity )
I had no patience for “Inspired” and he needed to learn something on the holiest of romance days-such as this one. People who know me, even if they know me only a little definitely know better than to try this silly shit with me.
Granted, this is a literal stranger and I *get* that he’s trying to be “nice,” but if I wore braces would it have been the same conversation? If my skin color were different would it have been the same conversation? If I were in a wheelchair? If I were a little person? If I had a cat instead of a dog?? DO YOU SEE WHERE I AM GETTING AT PEOPLE??!?
( #coachanonymity )
I mean, “Inspired” was nice enough and handled my lesson with grace. Unfortunately, I knew (and I think he did too) at this point, it was not a match.
I’m sure in a different context, we would have gotten along well. I hope “Inspired” has met someone else who has knocked his socks off by being a little bit different than what he is used to… while still managing to be physically fit.
While love isn’t necessarily a battlefield, you can bet I ain’t going to lie down and take that nor would I want any of you to.
So, yes, our spirits are awesome but not because our abilities lie on a spectrum different than others; it’s because we are all human and we want to connect with each other. That’s what is actually inspiring.
I love love. Here’s to fighting the good fight!
DOODES- Please keep your stories coming to firstname.lastname@example.org so I can share them. It really does impact all sorts of people, look at this positive parent comment from a post that even had the dirty-C word:
THIS ISH AFFECTS PEOPLE LET’S KEEP ‘EM COMING